Posted by: rl4man | March 30, 2015

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day at Work

So we had a departmental meeting scheduled today. I thought it was going to be the director, my co-worker Jenn, and me. So the office manager comes in, too. Surprised, but not worried. Until she proceeds to rip us up one side and down the other about a project that we had gotten out late. We knew it was a problem and it wasn’t going to happen again. But no, she had to go over and over and over it to let us know what a serious problem it was. We knew we made a mistake, although part of the problem was with the printer and post office. It was a fluke that won’t happen again. There’s nothing to be done about it now. We got through that but then she had to talk to us about our “flexible hours” as part-time employees and how the full-timers were feeling like we were getting special treatment. No one ever said anything before. We didn’t know it was a problem. Now we know. We’ll be more regular and communicative. Ugh. I wanted to give notice right then and there. Not the way I wanted to start out the week.

I went back to my desk very upset but had to finish up another project. I wrote a few notes about how I was feeling as they came to me. I’ve lost my title, position, hours and pay, insurance, respect, and now my office. It’s hard. Really hard. And I have the aneurysm situation on top of it. And now we have an impending change in executive directors which causes its own kind of crazy. It’s been a stressful year, to say the least.

A little bit before I was going to leave, the office manager comes in to let me know that if I have anything to say, anything I want to express, to let her know. She doesn’t appreciate how my co-worker is talking to other employees behind her back. So I took a breath and bared my soul. It was good to get it all out in the open, but she still tried to defend herself which I didn’t need to her to do. I know she’s in a tough spot. I know it’s difficult to balance all the different personalities and issues in a small office like ours. And I don’t blame her for my problems. I just needed her to know where I was coming from. But after all that’s happened I really don’t want to stay. I just want to quit. I’m tired. I want to just be a mom. But we need the money. So here I stay. For now. We need to go over our budget to figure out how much I really need to make. Perhaps I can find something else with less stress and less baggage. I need to pray about it.

The one thing that made the day happy was that my brand new INKnBURN running clothes came today. I spent a small fortune on one pair of pants and two tops, but they are so worth it and made me smile. I can’t wait to run in them. And it was warm enough to take a walk tonight.

walk

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